Collingwood Football Club’s announcement of its revolutionary power-sharing appointments has the potential to alter the AFL’s coaching landscape forever.
Only last month, the Magpies’ high-profile President, Mr Eddie McGuire, presented his five year-plan to the media, resulting in Golden Boy, Nathan Buckley, returning to the club, firstly as right-hand man to Mick Malthouse, but, ultimately, taking the major role in 2012.
Port Adelaide liked this arrangement so much, that it is on the verge of announcing its own version. It is understood that James Hird was approached by current coach, Mark Williams, while waiting for a taxi in Adelaide, an exercise that is fraught with danger at the best of times.
Hird politely declined the offer, fueling rumours that he is already committed to a similar handover manouvre at Essendon. According to our sources, they are already two years into their own Malthouse-Buckley Handover , Matthew Knights just doesn’t know it yet.
Knights, however, has sniffed the wind and is one step ahead. Later this month, he will reveal that he will enter into a different Malthouse-Buckley at Richmond. He’ll be Malthouse, warming the seat for Wayne Campbell, who will be his Buckley. Just like the old days.
We also believe that Brisbane are perturbed at not having thought of this last year and have approached Leigh Matthews to return as club coach in order to hand power over to Michael Voss in a more orderly fashion over the next few years. In a startling development, they will apologise to their members for being so far ahead of the game that they missed the latest trend. Had they been smarter, it would be forever known as the Matthews-Voss Handover instead.
Port Adelaide, meanwhile, are camped at that taxi rank, looking forlornly for their Buckley. So far Adam Simpson has hailed a Yellow Cab and informed them that he has just been appointed by North Melbourne, with Darren Crocker as his Malthouse and Damien Hardwick visited the taxi-rank yesterday but Williams lost interest in him when he detailed his plans to retire everyone at Port Adelaide immediately, Williams included, and start again as the Malthouse, with Byron Pickett as his Buckley.
In a related story, Chad Fletcher has retired as a player from West Coast and is set to be announced as the junior partner in that club’s Malthouse-Buckley. The timing of the change-over will depend on how long it takes for Fletcher to recover from the club’s end-of-season trip.
Over at the Western Oval, Rodney Eade will enter into a Malthouse-Buckley as the senior partner as soon as his Buckley-in-waiting, Barry Hall gets that fight with Anthony Mundine out of his system.
At Sleepy Hollow, the Malthouse-Buckley will be known as the Thompson-Ottens,….when Brad Ottens is fit enough....ahem….two to three weeks.
Back in Adelaide, Adrian Fletcher is looking for Williams and is believed to be interested in the role as his Buckley, but keeps going to all the wrong taxi-ranks. In the meantime, Neil Craig has announced that they will have a three-way Malthouse-Buckley, with both Andrew Macleod and Tyson Edwards as his co-Buckleys.
All of this has left Paul Roos bewildered, the long-time Sydney mentor declaring that this Malthouse-Buckley thing is really the Roos-Longmire Handover Manouvre, given that he thought of it yonks ago. "They should all be looking for Longmires, not Buckleys," he pouted!
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Only last month, the Magpies’ high-profile President, Mr Eddie McGuire, presented his five year-plan to the media, resulting in Golden Boy, Nathan Buckley, returning to the club, firstly as right-hand man to Mick Malthouse, but, ultimately, taking the major role in 2012.
Port Adelaide liked this arrangement so much, that it is on the verge of announcing its own version. It is understood that James Hird was approached by current coach, Mark Williams, while waiting for a taxi in Adelaide, an exercise that is fraught with danger at the best of times.
Hird politely declined the offer, fueling rumours that he is already committed to a similar handover manouvre at Essendon. According to our sources, they are already two years into their own Malthouse-Buckley Handover , Matthew Knights just doesn’t know it yet.
Knights, however, has sniffed the wind and is one step ahead. Later this month, he will reveal that he will enter into a different Malthouse-Buckley at Richmond. He’ll be Malthouse, warming the seat for Wayne Campbell, who will be his Buckley. Just like the old days.
We also believe that Brisbane are perturbed at not having thought of this last year and have approached Leigh Matthews to return as club coach in order to hand power over to Michael Voss in a more orderly fashion over the next few years. In a startling development, they will apologise to their members for being so far ahead of the game that they missed the latest trend. Had they been smarter, it would be forever known as the Matthews-Voss Handover instead.
Port Adelaide, meanwhile, are camped at that taxi rank, looking forlornly for their Buckley. So far Adam Simpson has hailed a Yellow Cab and informed them that he has just been appointed by North Melbourne, with Darren Crocker as his Malthouse and Damien Hardwick visited the taxi-rank yesterday but Williams lost interest in him when he detailed his plans to retire everyone at Port Adelaide immediately, Williams included, and start again as the Malthouse, with Byron Pickett as his Buckley.
In a related story, Chad Fletcher has retired as a player from West Coast and is set to be announced as the junior partner in that club’s Malthouse-Buckley. The timing of the change-over will depend on how long it takes for Fletcher to recover from the club’s end-of-season trip.
Over at the Western Oval, Rodney Eade will enter into a Malthouse-Buckley as the senior partner as soon as his Buckley-in-waiting, Barry Hall gets that fight with Anthony Mundine out of his system.
At Sleepy Hollow, the Malthouse-Buckley will be known as the Thompson-Ottens,….when Brad Ottens is fit enough....ahem….two to three weeks.
Back in Adelaide, Adrian Fletcher is looking for Williams and is believed to be interested in the role as his Buckley, but keeps going to all the wrong taxi-ranks. In the meantime, Neil Craig has announced that they will have a three-way Malthouse-Buckley, with both Andrew Macleod and Tyson Edwards as his co-Buckleys.
All of this has left Paul Roos bewildered, the long-time Sydney mentor declaring that this Malthouse-Buckley thing is really the Roos-Longmire Handover Manouvre, given that he thought of it yonks ago. "They should all be looking for Longmires, not Buckleys," he pouted!
www.sillystories.com.au
