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IMPORTANT // Please look after your loved ones, yourself and be kind to others. If you are feeling that the world is too hard to handle there is always help - I implore you not to hesitate in contacting one of these wonderful organisations Lifeline and Beyond Blue ... and I'm sure reaching out to our PRE community we will find a way to help. T.
PUNT ROAD END | Richmond Tigers Forum
The off season is killing me already – and it’s about to get worse – tennis is not that far off. Tennis – with its spoilt brat poncy show boaters masquerading as sports stars grunting like pigs on steroids and whinging about having to jog around a court for 4 hours in 45 degree heat! Why don’t they all just buy Tahiti and retire there. I’d contribute – if meant never having to hear the voice of JA ever again.
So I’m looking for some alternative fun. The best I can come up with is to imagine this scenario: it’s the first elimination final 2009. We’ve finished 6th on the ladder at the end of home-and-away – one spot above Carlton. Separated by 0.01% just for good measure. So it’s us verses the Bluescrags. Who’s in your team?
Here’s mine:
FB: King Thursty McG
HB: Newy Schulz Moore
C: Bling Thomson Cotchin
HF: JON Jack Richo
FF: Brown Hughes Connors
R: Simmo Lids Axel
I: JBo Jackson Rance Putt
Maccas’s out because he played so loose one night at training he wandered onto Punt Road and got hit by a bus. What’s with Richmond players and public transport? He wasn’t hurt - it’s just that he sticks so tight now he’s still tagging last weeks opponent. Last seen in a Subi pub knocking beers out of Mark LeCras’ hand on mad Monday.
King gets a gig because he’s come on with a years experience in the big league. Plus Betts is his *smile* – will have him bent over the boundary fence all game long, including quarter and three quarter time breaks.
Jackson’s in for Johnno. Too strong, too fast and too smart to keep out. Johnno’s real problem was diagnosed as progressive incontinence – nothing to do with wanting to salt the crackling at all. Lets just say the bag finally got too big – was starting to show.
Morton’s gone the way of Pettifer. Turns out that JON does the HFF thing better – marks it, dodges a few and kicks it a mile towards the big white sticks. Things that are not too difficult to remember. Plus he runs ‘em down in the forward line like a possessed tackle bag.
Thomson’s a revelation. Had so many hard-ball-gets during the year that he was tested for nut cancer once a month. Has got to like it too. He’s tough – in ways so many of us aren’t.
I’m glad McGuane made the squad. He actually bit off Franklin’s left arm during the year but no one seemed to mind. Actually helped the big Hawk’s ball drop – you should see’em curve through now. Besides, his market value for trading to the Gold Coast should be better for his inclusion.
Hughes has produced some big bags on big occasions in ’09. His pack marks from a metre down has ‘em totally fooled. He’s learnt to flat punt’em like Huddo used to – just to really freak out the FB – like “How did he mark that!?!! How did he kick that?!!?”. After only three impossible marks and three impossible goals the FB’s certifiable.
Connors has gone past Edwards as a forward flanker / pocket interchanging in the middle. He doesn’t work as hard – but then again you don’t find him running in circles out in the middle of nowhere either. Plus he’s the new club whip – gotta have some one to blame if we stink it up.
Putt’s form is too good to resist in the Burgs and will be a good match up on Warnock. No one really wants Patto out of the side – he’s a great bloke – it’s just that he makes Hughes look like a Scandinavian high jumper.
Tuck’s out injured – actually broke both collar bones by straining his neck muscles in a grimace whilst tackling Aaron Sandilands’ calf muscle. He claims he was trying to smile and look innocent to avoid a tripping charge.
So I’m looking for some alternative fun. The best I can come up with is to imagine this scenario: it’s the first elimination final 2009. We’ve finished 6th on the ladder at the end of home-and-away – one spot above Carlton. Separated by 0.01% just for good measure. So it’s us verses the Bluescrags. Who’s in your team?
Here’s mine:
FB: King Thursty McG
HB: Newy Schulz Moore
C: Bling Thomson Cotchin
HF: JON Jack Richo
FF: Brown Hughes Connors
R: Simmo Lids Axel
I: JBo Jackson Rance Putt
Maccas’s out because he played so loose one night at training he wandered onto Punt Road and got hit by a bus. What’s with Richmond players and public transport? He wasn’t hurt - it’s just that he sticks so tight now he’s still tagging last weeks opponent. Last seen in a Subi pub knocking beers out of Mark LeCras’ hand on mad Monday.
King gets a gig because he’s come on with a years experience in the big league. Plus Betts is his *smile* – will have him bent over the boundary fence all game long, including quarter and three quarter time breaks.
Jackson’s in for Johnno. Too strong, too fast and too smart to keep out. Johnno’s real problem was diagnosed as progressive incontinence – nothing to do with wanting to salt the crackling at all. Lets just say the bag finally got too big – was starting to show.
Morton’s gone the way of Pettifer. Turns out that JON does the HFF thing better – marks it, dodges a few and kicks it a mile towards the big white sticks. Things that are not too difficult to remember. Plus he runs ‘em down in the forward line like a possessed tackle bag.
Thomson’s a revelation. Had so many hard-ball-gets during the year that he was tested for nut cancer once a month. Has got to like it too. He’s tough – in ways so many of us aren’t.
I’m glad McGuane made the squad. He actually bit off Franklin’s left arm during the year but no one seemed to mind. Actually helped the big Hawk’s ball drop – you should see’em curve through now. Besides, his market value for trading to the Gold Coast should be better for his inclusion.
Hughes has produced some big bags on big occasions in ’09. His pack marks from a metre down has ‘em totally fooled. He’s learnt to flat punt’em like Huddo used to – just to really freak out the FB – like “How did he mark that!?!! How did he kick that?!!?”. After only three impossible marks and three impossible goals the FB’s certifiable.
Connors has gone past Edwards as a forward flanker / pocket interchanging in the middle. He doesn’t work as hard – but then again you don’t find him running in circles out in the middle of nowhere either. Plus he’s the new club whip – gotta have some one to blame if we stink it up.
Putt’s form is too good to resist in the Burgs and will be a good match up on Warnock. No one really wants Patto out of the side – he’s a great bloke – it’s just that he makes Hughes look like a Scandinavian high jumper.
Tuck’s out injured – actually broke both collar bones by straining his neck muscles in a grimace whilst tackling Aaron Sandilands’ calf muscle. He claims he was trying to smile and look innocent to avoid a tripping charge.