Jokes for Ladies
Q: What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles?
A: Re-load and carry on shooting.
Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because it only attacks the brain.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
Q: What was the first man on the moon?
A: A good start.
Q: A couple are lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
A: The woman says: "Ok, I'll miss you though"
Q: What takes longer to make, a snowman or a snowwoman?
A: A snowman, because you have to hollow out the head first.
Q: Why do most men have a beer belly?
A: So that his best friend has a roof over his head.
Q: What is the difference between a Yeti and an intelligent man?
A: It is believed that a Yeti has been sighted.
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?
Q: When would you want a man's company?
A: When he owns it.
Q: How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
A: Three, if you spread them very thinly.
Q: What are a woman's four favourite animals?
A: A mink in her wardrobe, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it.
Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: Why are hurricanes usually named after women?
A: Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles?
A: Re-load and carry on shooting.
Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because it only attacks the brain.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
Q: What was the first man on the moon?
A: A good start.
Q: A couple are lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
A: The woman says: "Ok, I'll miss you though"
Q: What takes longer to make, a snowman or a snowwoman?
A: A snowman, because you have to hollow out the head first.
Q: Why do most men have a beer belly?
A: So that his best friend has a roof over his head.
Q: What is the difference between a Yeti and an intelligent man?
A: It is believed that a Yeti has been sighted.
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?
Q: When would you want a man's company?
A: When he owns it.
Q: How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
A: Three, if you spread them very thinly.
Q: What are a woman's four favourite animals?
A: A mink in her wardrobe, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it.
Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: Why are hurricanes usually named after women?
A: Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car with them.
