Jokes Thread | PUNT ROAD END | Richmond Tigers Forum
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Jokes Thread

TV Josh

Tiger Rookie
May 26, 2005
338
269
Melbourne, VIC
Two saggy old boobs are sitting in a bar. One saggy old boob says to the other saggy old boob, "if we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts".
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
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An 85 year old lady was seeing a new doctor for the first time after her doctor had retired. The new doctor asked her what medications she was taking, so she told the doctor. The doctor said to her that one of the medications she was taking was for birth control, and that she didn't need to be taking that. She told the doctor that she uses it as a sleeping tablet, the doctor laughed and told her that it wouldn't help her sleep. She said tho the doctor that her 16 year old granddaughter lives with her and that she crushes a tablet and puts it in her granddaughters orange juice every morning, and that it did indeed help her sleep very well each night.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
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When a woman is in labor, the pain is so intense.........she can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has cold.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
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A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said 'I want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, What's your name?
The guy said, My name is Pen!s van Lesbian.
The agent said, Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name.
The man said i will NOT change my name, the van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.
The agent said, Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will never go far in Hollywood with a name like *smile* van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will have to change your name or I will not be able to represent you.
So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Pen!s van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely yours,

*smile* van Dyke
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
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I was in a Pharmacy today when a duck waddled in. When I got served, I told the lady that there was a duck in the shop.
She said, oh he's back is he, he'll be here to buy some condoms. I said you're joking........ how will he pay for them, she said........ I'll put them on his bill.
 
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TT33

Yellow & Black Member
Feb 17, 2004
5,829
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Melbourne
A bloke walked into a pub with a pig under his arm, the barman said to him "where did you get that?" . The pig answered "I won him in a raffle"
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
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The times, they sure are a changing............... once upon a time if someone sneezed I would say bless you, now I say **** you.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
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Paddy called around to see his mate Mick.....Mick's wife Molly answered the door and said he was out the back in the shed. Paddy walked in to the shed to find Mick dancing naked in front of his tractor. Paddy said what would you be doing Mick.....you've gone stark raving mad.
Mick said that he and Molly were having a bit of trouble in the bedroom, and that a therapist said that he should do something sexy to....attract her.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
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Paddy said to Mick that his missus had left him, she said she was going to buy some milk and never come back. Mick said I'm sorry to hear that Paddy, how are you coping. Paddy said not too bad, I'm starting to get used to that powdered stuff.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
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Two guys grow up together, but after university they move to different states. They agree to meet every ten years to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
Where you wanna go?
Hooters.
Why Hooters?
They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs.
You're on.
At age 42, they meet and play golf again
Where you wanna go for lunch?
Hooters.
Again? Why?
They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games.
OK.
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking.
OK.
At age 62 they meet again.
After a round of golf, one says, Where you wanna go?
Hooters.
Why?
Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy.
Good choice
At age 72 they meet again.
Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.
Great choice.
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
Because we've never been there before.
Okay, let’s give it a try.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
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I was talking to a bloke in the pub on Saturday, he said he was married and showed me a photo of her, saying isn't she beautiful.
I said to him if you think she's beautiful you should see my missus. He said she a stunner is she....... I said no, she an optician.
 
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