Last week I’m in a side street to Centre Road turning left, feeding into the flow of traffic on Centre Road. There’s a guy in front of me. He has 2 lanes to feed into - the inside one being completely clear because a parked car 100m up the road is blocking any traffic from using it.
He sits there. And sits there. And sits there. For some reason he wants to use the outside lane to merge into. He just won’t turn on the inside lane. But even then he won’t merge in - not even with a 70m gap in traffic.
Another guy comes up behind me. We’re both stuck behind this dribbler. Maybe 3 to 4 mins which is a long time. Guy behind me is getting agitated too. Eventually I have to get on the horn. He finally feeds out. We go down the road. Pull up at the lights. He puts his car in reverse, sides up to me in the other lane, unwinds his window and unleashes a tidal wave of abuse.
They're out there. And lots of them. That’s why I want to set up my company. Immense money for me and the government. We’ll see how driving standards improve when I put 200 unmarked surveillance cars out there.
You're a man after my own heart. I'm always telling my wife if I controlled licencing these sort of doofuses wouldn't be able to drive in my state. Along with:
- slow turners/phone users at right hand-arrows. Be ready to go almost like its an F1 grid so as many cars as possible can get through you selfish gits
- non-mergers - all those clowns who slow down to merge, or in some cases stop. You are the reason for stop/go traffic flow on freeways. If you can't merge you can't use a freeway.
- slow right-hand lane drivers. KEEP LEFT UNLESS OVERTAKING. If you can't manage that you can't have a licence
- people using phones and texting whilst driving - its dangerous *smile* you don't deserve a licence
- people turning right or left but not getting over so others can get past them (where possible of course). Think of others you ignorant *smile*
- people who halve there speed when the rain starts. Its ok to drive more cautiously but some people (usually non-mergers) treat the road like an ice rink
- tailgaters in school zones. It's 40 you clowns and I'll always drive at 40 in them as we all should, you tailgate in these areas you lose you licence
- pusher iners - you know whop you are, Those people in peak hour who knowingly drive in a through lane and push in at the last minute and save themselves from being in the queue. eg on footy days the Punt rd exit off the Monash is always slow, so many drive in the outside lanes and cut in at the exit. One warning followed by a loss of licence in my world. Why shouldn't you queue like the rest of us? You should be able to hold them out and actually drive into their vehicle and not be at fault insurance wise. You just say - pusher inner - and they are automatically at fault.
- people driving slowly down a street in the middle of a lane looking for an address. They never use the indicator to let you know what they are doing they just drive slowly half in and half out of the lane. You can't get past them and have to be a mind reader to know their intentions. You give them a toot and they stare at you with that dumb "what" look. Pull over and work out where you are and where you are going and don't be so selfish.
- I'll add my pet peeve on cyclists, those clowns that ride down narrow-laned thoroughfares like North Rd. Yes, it is legal to do so but its also amazingly dangerous. These clowns must have a death wish. Worse, when the lights are red and they go past 15 cars in the gutter and pull out just slightly ion front of the first car so you all have to go through the overtaking process again. If you wanted to be treated like a car, act like a car. Don't make it harder for everyone else, sit in the line like everyone else. Or better still, ride where there is a path or bike lanes. Why they risk their lives (imagine in a few years time when all these addicted phone youths get licences and text whilst driving?) by riding on inappropriate streets?
There are a stack more behaviours that lack common courtesy but these are the main ones that drive me spare.