Pies Have Monday on their Mind
By Tony Greenspin
http://www.spittle.com.au
Collingwood President Eddie McGuire has outlined a bold bid to keep a key date in the AFL calendar to themselves – Mad Monday.
McGuire, who spent the club's Mad Monday drinking alone after Heath Shaw lied to him about the venue, put the evening to good use, writing a submission to the AFL outlining why Mad Monday should be set aside as a “blockbuster” for the club.
However, the plan immediately backfired when many of the Pies players were themselves busted during the traditional end-of-season drinking marathon.
The occasion got off to a shaky start when Shane Wakelin failed to attend after his train was cancelled, and Dale Thomas was denied entry to the Geebung because no wags were allowed. Brodie Holland promptly started a fight with the venue’s bouncers, believing they had evicted wife Sarita Stella.
Brad *smile*, Tyson Goldsack and Shannon Cox began proceedings with an impromptu performance of Puppetry of the *smile*, with photos sent to Brendan Fevola’s mobile to show him what a real *smile* looks like.
Brodie Holland then started another fight when he asked former teammate Paul Licuria whether he really thought he could dance. When Ben Johnson tried to separate them he was voted off and encouraged to audition for The Biggest Loser instead.
Alan Didak was forced to deny accusations that he was the father of Christi Malthouse’s baby after it escaped on foot immediately after its delivery by emergency C-section.
The players held a drinking competition, but by the time it got to the final six Travis Cloke was feeling pretty sick. Scott Burns denied that Cloke was suffering from glandular fever, explaining that his staggered gait during finals was more typical of the Colliwobbles.
Cloke was then ordered by Geebung management to use the ladies toilets after continually spraying wide of the urinal.
As this was occurring an Englishman, a Scotsman and Marty Clarke were sitting at the bar when the barman looked at them and said: "Is this some kind of joke?"
The evening ended abruptly when Alan Didak was arrested for the assassination of JFK, the poisoning of Phar Lap and the kidnapping of Madeleine McCann.
By Tony Greenspin
http://www.spittle.com.au
Collingwood President Eddie McGuire has outlined a bold bid to keep a key date in the AFL calendar to themselves – Mad Monday.
McGuire, who spent the club's Mad Monday drinking alone after Heath Shaw lied to him about the venue, put the evening to good use, writing a submission to the AFL outlining why Mad Monday should be set aside as a “blockbuster” for the club.
However, the plan immediately backfired when many of the Pies players were themselves busted during the traditional end-of-season drinking marathon.
The occasion got off to a shaky start when Shane Wakelin failed to attend after his train was cancelled, and Dale Thomas was denied entry to the Geebung because no wags were allowed. Brodie Holland promptly started a fight with the venue’s bouncers, believing they had evicted wife Sarita Stella.
Brad *smile*, Tyson Goldsack and Shannon Cox began proceedings with an impromptu performance of Puppetry of the *smile*, with photos sent to Brendan Fevola’s mobile to show him what a real *smile* looks like.
Brodie Holland then started another fight when he asked former teammate Paul Licuria whether he really thought he could dance. When Ben Johnson tried to separate them he was voted off and encouraged to audition for The Biggest Loser instead.
Alan Didak was forced to deny accusations that he was the father of Christi Malthouse’s baby after it escaped on foot immediately after its delivery by emergency C-section.
The players held a drinking competition, but by the time it got to the final six Travis Cloke was feeling pretty sick. Scott Burns denied that Cloke was suffering from glandular fever, explaining that his staggered gait during finals was more typical of the Colliwobbles.
Cloke was then ordered by Geebung management to use the ladies toilets after continually spraying wide of the urinal.
As this was occurring an Englishman, a Scotsman and Marty Clarke were sitting at the bar when the barman looked at them and said: "Is this some kind of joke?"
The evening ended abruptly when Alan Didak was arrested for the assassination of JFK, the poisoning of Phar Lap and the kidnapping of Madeleine McCann.
