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Ronald McDonald appointed as Hawks Coach

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Tiger Matchwinner
Jun 6, 2004
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http://www.mobinstinct.com/august2004/aflcoach.htm

AFL FOOTBALL

McDonald signs on as Hawthorn Coach

Enrico Pallazzo

The Hawthorn Football Club has become the first AFL club to sign a new coach for 2005. Fast food great Ronald McDonald will take over as coach on a lucrative three-year deal.

Ronald McDonald's current employer (fast food giant McDonalds) has enthusiastically agreed to transfer Ronald McDonald to the Hawks.


"This will allow us to gain a great foothold in the AFL and exploit the great synergies with elite sport and our fast food range," said a McDonalds spokesperson.


The deal to entice Ronald McDonald to Hawthorn was the brainchild of Hawthorn agitator Don Scott, and agreed to by the Hawthorn Board who were keen to avoid a challenge from the crazy ex-Board member.


However Don Scott now claims he was misunderstood.


"I said I wanted the current assistant coach Donald McDonald to get the job, not that bloody Big Mac clown," said Scott.

However Hawthorn Director of Football Dermott Brereton denies Scott's interpretation. "Ronald McDonald is clearly the best candidate for Hawthorn," he said. "He has good-size feet and the players will like his zany clothes."

"Besides," continued Brereton, "it will be good to finally have someone around who wears more make up than me."