My wife and I were at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and she hasn't been sober since. ' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'