The RIP thread | PUNT ROAD END | Richmond Tigers Forum
  • IMPORTANT // Please look after your loved ones, yourself and be kind to others. If you are feeling that the world is too hard to handle there is always help - I implore you not to hesitate in contacting one of these wonderful organisations Lifeline and Beyond Blue ... and I'm sure reaching out to our PRE community we will find a way to help. T.

The RIP thread

123cups

Tiger Champion
May 1, 2016
2,834
3,291
I'm not sure where else to post this. In recent months, I've been experiencing a tough patch myself that's led to some dark thoughts in line with this topic.

I'm at the crossroads. I've single-mindedly dedicated my adult life towards a challenging career goal, and the evidence suggested I was likely to succeed. However, over the past 2 years or so, I've let myself down in terms of motivation and work ethic. As a result, some incredible career opportunities have permanently slipped through my fingers, along with my confidence, my social life, and eventually, my partner.

In Richmond-speak, while the outcome hasn't gone my way, I've also deviated greatly from my process. I'm aware that I need to get back to my process to be successful, but somehow, I've lost all courage to live by my own winning habits that I had breathed religiously in the past. I haven't been sweeping the sheds, and I know it.

Thankfully, I haven't chosen a destructive path in this time, and I can better understand how some people end up down some of those one-way lanes. Also, I'm lucky to have some good friends who will always support me, so it could be worse. There's plenty of people who have it worse than me.

But still, I've lost my way. I've forgotten my internal narrative that once gave context to my efforts. In this moment, and for most of this year, I simply feel completely directionless in both career and life, and I'm not sure if I'll even achieve a fraction of what everyone once expected from me.

Among the many questions wandering in my mind at the moment is... how should I even begin to approach the coming months?

I guess it could be analogous to a young footballer receiving a career-ending injury before entering his prime. How does someone figure out a completely new career when you've committed everything to a single pathway? How do you rationalise that sunk cost of unrewarded dedication?

Apologies if this post is a little too
vulnerable for comfort or in the wrong thread. I'm sure things will work out somehow, even if I can't see it right now. It just feels like I made a decision to gamble heavily on myself, saw success on the key measures over several years, but have ultimately walked away empty-handed, insecure, and uncharacteristically pessimistic about my future. It's a tough thing to deal with, and a hard one to talk about.

Although I don't personally know anyone on here, I've enjoyed reading posts by some thoughtful people on here over the years, and I thought it can't hurt for anyone to speak up at a time when they don't feel like speaking. My inbox is gratefully open for any thoughts, encouragement, stories, or general advice if someone has experienced a similar point in their life.
 
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DjJazzyPete

Tiger Matchwinner
Sep 8, 2014
711
497
Nata , Botswana
Alan White, the British drummer who played in the progressive rock band Yes and featured on John Lennon's "Imagine," has died at the age of 72. :( big fan of Yes ..
 
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tigerlandishome

Carna Tiges
Jun 4, 2007
727
220
Perth
I'm not sure where else to post this. In recent months, I've been experiencing a tough patch myself that's led to some dark thoughts in line with this topic.

I'm at the crossroads. I've single-mindedly dedicated my adult life towards a challenging career goal, and the evidence suggested I was likely to succeed. However, over the past 2 years or so, I've let myself down in terms of motivation and work ethic. As a result, some incredible career opportunities have permanently slipped through my fingers, along with my confidence, my social life, and eventually, my partner.

In Richmond-speak, while the outcome hasn't gone my way, I've also deviated greatly from my process. I'm aware that I need to get back to my process to be successful, but somehow, I've lost all courage to live by my own winning habits that I had breathed religiously in the past. I haven't been sweeping the sheds, and I know it.

Thankfully, I haven't chosen a destructive path in this time, and I can better understand how some people end up down some of those one-way lanes. Also, I'm lucky to have some good friends who will always support me, so it could be worse. There's plenty of people who have it worse than me.

But still, I've lost my way. I've forgotten my internal narrative that once gave context to my efforts. In this moment, and for most of this year, I simply feel completely directionless in both career and life, and I'm not sure if I'll even achieve a fraction of what everyone once expected from me.

Among the many questions wandering in my mind at the moment is... how should I even begin to approach the coming months?

I guess it could be analogous to a young footballer receiving a career-ending injury before entering his prime. How does someone figure out a completely new career when you've committed everything to a single pathway? How do you rationalise that sunk cost of unrewarded dedication?

Apologies if this post is a little too
vulnerable for comfort or in the wrong thread. I'm sure things will work out somehow, even if I can't see it right now. It just feels like I made a decision to gamble heavily on myself, saw success on the key measures over several years, but have ultimately walked away empty-handed, insecure, and uncharacteristically pessimistic about my future. It's a tough thing to deal with, and a hard one to talk about.

Although I don't personally know anyone on here, I've enjoyed reading posts by some thoughtful people on here over the years, and I thought it can't hurt for anyone to speak up at a time when they don't feel like speaking. My inbox is gratefully open for any thoughts, encouragement, stories, or general advice if someone has experienced a similar point in their life.
Thanks for sharing, it must have been difficult. I personally wish you the best outcome and would like to encourage you. From your own description I feel very positive about your ability to refocus and go again. Although I dont know you personally, and it is now somewhat unfashionable, I will be praying for you in the hope of you finding the right path to go down.

All the best.
 
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Billy24

Tiger Matchwinner
Mar 25, 2014
746
792
SEN need to have their newsreader slow up a tad....
If I didn't know who he was, I'd swear Raylee Otta had passed away sadly.
If it’s the person I’m thinking of you can only understand every second word if you’re lucky. Terrible newsreader.
 

The Big Richo

Tiger Rookie
Aug 19, 2010
481
839
The home of Dusty
I'm not sure where else to post this. In recent months, I've been experiencing a tough patch myself that's led to some dark thoughts in line with this topic.

Good on you for sharing, 123cups.

My general advice would be things are never as good or as bad as they seem. Moments pass, life changes quickly and when you least expect it.

I am concerned about you having some dark thoughts however. I'd really encourage you or anyone in that situation to seek some support from your GP firstly, and remember you are a valued and important person with lots of people who care about you.

I'm sure I speak for the entire PRE community when I say there is always an open door to reach out to any of us anytime you need to. I've spent a lifetime working with professional athletes and seen lots of highs and lows so if hearing about that is of interest to you feel free to reach out.
 
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artball

labels are for canned food
Jul 30, 2013
5,661
4,036
Dave Smith RiP.

Dave Smith was a musical engineer who pioneered the synthesizer. No doubt everyone on here that's a music fan has knowingly or unknowingly heard Daves genius. Give it up for Dave Smith. The world has lost a positive culture shaper of the highest order.

 
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FitenFitenWin

Listen to the thunder RFC
Jul 30, 2009
2,784
616
Brisbane
123cups - I can really identify with your situation. I was one thing for over 30 years and broke from it in a very dramatic fashion. Affected my physical and mental health. And I had to find a new identity for myself - as I was no longer the thing I thought I always wanted to be. Ten years later and those issues have mostly been resolved. My advice is to hang in there as best you can - sometimes it’s all you can do. Think laterally about your situation and be confident that the skills you have learned are translatable to so many other things in life. And get some professional assistance if things get too hard - it can be so helpful - and even guiding and uplifting.
 
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TigerPort

Tiger Superstar
Jun 29, 2006
2,082
1,699
NSW
But still, I've lost my way. I've forgotten my internal narrative that once gave context to my efforts. In this moment, and for most of this year, I simply feel completely directionless in both career and life, and I'm not sure if I'll even achieve a fraction of what everyone once expected from me.

First up thanks for sharing 123cups. It is wonderful you think of PRE as somewhere you can seek help/advice - and you are right

Just thought it was interesting you made the comment "and I'm not sure if I'll even achieve a fraction of what everyone once expected from me." We cannot control what other people think of us or what they expect from us. That is their issue to deal with. What is more important for you is how you think of yourself and what expectations you want to put on yourself. As TBR mentioned above go and seek advice from you GP and get a referral to someone who you can talk to professionally and work these out in your own mind. From your comments it is obvious that you are in a world of self doubt and you need help to clear the fog.



Among the many questions wandering in my mind at the moment is... how should I even begin to approach the coming months?

When self doubt has crept in on my world I found helping others to be a way back. Find a not for profit organization somewhere near you and volunteer your time. Might only be an hour a week but these organizations will need the help and you can get some personal satisfaction. You never know what you are seeking may materialize while volunteering.

Just a couple of thoughts. I wish you well on whatever your future path may be.
 
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tigertim

something funny is written here
Mar 6, 2004
27,195
7,595
Footy journo Ron Reed at 74. I thought we was 74 about 30 years ago!
 
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Scoop

Tiger Legend
Dec 8, 2004
22,489
7,918
@123cups mate, that was so brave. Sounds like you’ve already begun the journey.

Whatever your going through it will pass and when things are going well, that will pass as well. It’s a constant battle. Go back to the simple things that give you joy, not work related. Make sure you are doing them regularly. Get professional help, be honest, be bold. Sounds like COVID impacted your plans and that’s totally understandable. We’ve all come out of it different, what matters is different now, everything is getting realigned. Go with it. Have a plan and give yourself credit for small wins.
 
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artball

labels are for canned food
Jul 30, 2013
5,661
4,036
Julee Cruise had a thing of her own going on.... always a great thing in art
 
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