Hey Guy’s, Thought this was brilliant, i couldn't stop laughing "the epitome of a magpies fan", I had to pass it on here.
Collingwood FC Magpies
MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM
NAME…………………………………………………………………….
( 2 mistakes allowed )
NAME…………………………………………………………………….
( 2nd chance )
ADDRESS………………………………………………………………………………………...
(this means what is the name of the street your house is in and what is your house number.
If unsure of either – check the phone book for details but look under your own name or you will get it wrong.)
If address unknown – put a tick here:…………..
DATE OF BIRTH………………………………..
(What day does everybody sing happy birthday to you?)
AGE……………..
(How many years have they been singing it to you?)
MOTHER’S NAME……………………….…………………....(Mum will NOT do. What is her REAL name?)
FATHER’S NAME ( if known )…………………………………………………………...( NO SWEARING )
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? YES / NO
IS IT YOURS? YES / NO
REGISTRATION NUMBER…………………………….(found on the piece of tin hanging from the bumper bar)
DO YOU HAVE A DRIVERS LICENCE? YES / NO
IS IT YOURS? YES / NO
ARE YOU WEARING MAGGIES CLOTHING ON LICENCE PHOTO? YES / NO
COULD YOU DRIVE PLAYERS, MATCH COMMITTEE OR OTHER SUPPORTERS TO:
a) HOME GAMES YES / NO
b) AWAY GAMES (to keep costs down) YES / NO
DO YOU HAVE A WASHING MACHINE? YES / NO
WOULD YOU BE PREPARED TO HELP WASH OUR TEAM FOOTY GEAR? YES / NO
(tick which……..socks….shorts….guernseys….jockstraps….hankies….bandages …. )
DO YOU OWN A BEACH SHACK? YES / NO
COULD WE USE IT FOR THE PLAYERS “END OF SEASON TRIP?” YES / NO
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? YES / NO
ARE THEY YOURS? YES / NO
WOULD ANY OF THEM BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOR THE MAGGIES? YES / NO
a) BOYS YES / NO
b) GIRLS YES / NO
HOW OLD ARE THEY? 1 – 10, 11 – 20, 21 – 30, 31 – 40, or don’t know?
DO YOU HAVE ANY LARGE FOOTBALL TROPHIES (no name tags ) THAT YOU WOULD BE
WILLING TO DONATE TO THE CLUB FOR OUR TROPHY CABINET? YES / NO
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING OUR END OF SEASON DINNER? YES / NO
COULD YOU BRING ANYTHING ALONG ON THE NIGHT?
(eg. fairy bread, party pies, cordial, plastic cups, jelly ) YES / NO
ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? YES / NO
WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LEAD OUR SUPPORTERS IN PRAYER:
a) BEFORE HOME GAMES? YES / NO
b) BEFORE AWAY GAMES? YES / NO
c) BEFORE WE PLAY THE EAGLES? YES / NO
d) START TO FINISH OF A EAGLES GAME? YES /NO
PART TWO – I.Q TEST
1) PICK THE TV SHOW (circle the right name from the clues given )
BLANKETY______________ Cheque / Blanket / Blanks / Donation / don’t know
I DREAM OF_____________ a premiership / Chris Judd / Jeannie / having money / don’t know
STAR TREK, THE NEXT____ Footy Show / AFL team / AFL Draft / Generation / don’t know
GET_____________________ John Worsfold / Lost / rid of Malthouse / Smart / *smile*/ don’t know
HEY HEY IT’S ___________ a June Premiership / smoko / Saturday / another defeat / don’t know
WHO WANTS TO BE _____ a Millionaire / a Collingwood member / stupid / Leon Davis / don’t know
2) PICK THE ODD ONE OUT ( circle the odd one from the lists below )
FEBRUARY 30th / MAY 38th / JUNE 40th / OCTOBER 33rd / APRIL 1st / don’t know
SPOON / SOON / MOON / BOON / CHEESE / GOON / SWOON / don’t know
A, B, C, D, 4, E, F, G, H, I, don’t know
WOEWODIN / ROCCA / CLEMENT / BUCKLEY / HOLLAND / (one wasn’t poached from another club)
MCG / SCG / AAMI STADIUM / SUBIACO / GABBA / WEMBLEY / don’t know
3) WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE?
“I THINKS THE MAGPIES IS THE BESTEST TEAM IN OSTRAYLIA”
IS IT:
a) BAD SPELING
b) BAD GRAMMA
c) BAD GRANDMA
d) DON’T KNOW
To find out if your membership application has been successful, please put a stamp on both sides of an envelope and leave one side blank. We will advise you by return mail.
BONUS: Please list in order your preferred complimentary Collingwood Membership Surgery that comes with every successful membership application. We will try to allocate you a bed in an appropriate hospital, as one becomes available.
a) MOUTH ENLARGEMENT. b) ONE EYE REMOVED.( left or right ) c) BRAIN REMOVED
GOOD LUCK
Collingwood FC Magpies
MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM
NAME…………………………………………………………………….
( 2 mistakes allowed )
NAME…………………………………………………………………….
( 2nd chance )
ADDRESS………………………………………………………………………………………...
(this means what is the name of the street your house is in and what is your house number.
If unsure of either – check the phone book for details but look under your own name or you will get it wrong.)
If address unknown – put a tick here:…………..
DATE OF BIRTH………………………………..
(What day does everybody sing happy birthday to you?)
AGE……………..
(How many years have they been singing it to you?)
MOTHER’S NAME……………………….…………………....(Mum will NOT do. What is her REAL name?)
FATHER’S NAME ( if known )…………………………………………………………...( NO SWEARING )
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? YES / NO
IS IT YOURS? YES / NO
REGISTRATION NUMBER…………………………….(found on the piece of tin hanging from the bumper bar)
DO YOU HAVE A DRIVERS LICENCE? YES / NO
IS IT YOURS? YES / NO
ARE YOU WEARING MAGGIES CLOTHING ON LICENCE PHOTO? YES / NO
COULD YOU DRIVE PLAYERS, MATCH COMMITTEE OR OTHER SUPPORTERS TO:
a) HOME GAMES YES / NO
b) AWAY GAMES (to keep costs down) YES / NO
DO YOU HAVE A WASHING MACHINE? YES / NO
WOULD YOU BE PREPARED TO HELP WASH OUR TEAM FOOTY GEAR? YES / NO
(tick which……..socks….shorts….guernseys….jockstraps….hankies….bandages …. )
DO YOU OWN A BEACH SHACK? YES / NO
COULD WE USE IT FOR THE PLAYERS “END OF SEASON TRIP?” YES / NO
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? YES / NO
ARE THEY YOURS? YES / NO
WOULD ANY OF THEM BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOR THE MAGGIES? YES / NO
a) BOYS YES / NO
b) GIRLS YES / NO
HOW OLD ARE THEY? 1 – 10, 11 – 20, 21 – 30, 31 – 40, or don’t know?
DO YOU HAVE ANY LARGE FOOTBALL TROPHIES (no name tags ) THAT YOU WOULD BE
WILLING TO DONATE TO THE CLUB FOR OUR TROPHY CABINET? YES / NO
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING OUR END OF SEASON DINNER? YES / NO
COULD YOU BRING ANYTHING ALONG ON THE NIGHT?
(eg. fairy bread, party pies, cordial, plastic cups, jelly ) YES / NO
ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? YES / NO
WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LEAD OUR SUPPORTERS IN PRAYER:
a) BEFORE HOME GAMES? YES / NO
b) BEFORE AWAY GAMES? YES / NO
c) BEFORE WE PLAY THE EAGLES? YES / NO
d) START TO FINISH OF A EAGLES GAME? YES /NO
PART TWO – I.Q TEST
1) PICK THE TV SHOW (circle the right name from the clues given )
BLANKETY______________ Cheque / Blanket / Blanks / Donation / don’t know
I DREAM OF_____________ a premiership / Chris Judd / Jeannie / having money / don’t know
STAR TREK, THE NEXT____ Footy Show / AFL team / AFL Draft / Generation / don’t know
GET_____________________ John Worsfold / Lost / rid of Malthouse / Smart / *smile*/ don’t know
HEY HEY IT’S ___________ a June Premiership / smoko / Saturday / another defeat / don’t know
WHO WANTS TO BE _____ a Millionaire / a Collingwood member / stupid / Leon Davis / don’t know
2) PICK THE ODD ONE OUT ( circle the odd one from the lists below )
FEBRUARY 30th / MAY 38th / JUNE 40th / OCTOBER 33rd / APRIL 1st / don’t know
SPOON / SOON / MOON / BOON / CHEESE / GOON / SWOON / don’t know
A, B, C, D, 4, E, F, G, H, I, don’t know
WOEWODIN / ROCCA / CLEMENT / BUCKLEY / HOLLAND / (one wasn’t poached from another club)
MCG / SCG / AAMI STADIUM / SUBIACO / GABBA / WEMBLEY / don’t know
3) WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE?
“I THINKS THE MAGPIES IS THE BESTEST TEAM IN OSTRAYLIA”
IS IT:
a) BAD SPELING
b) BAD GRAMMA
c) BAD GRANDMA
d) DON’T KNOW
To find out if your membership application has been successful, please put a stamp on both sides of an envelope and leave one side blank. We will advise you by return mail.
BONUS: Please list in order your preferred complimentary Collingwood Membership Surgery that comes with every successful membership application. We will try to allocate you a bed in an appropriate hospital, as one becomes available.
a) MOUTH ENLARGEMENT. b) ONE EYE REMOVED.( left or right ) c) BRAIN REMOVED
GOOD LUCK
olice: