MEMO
Re: Complaints
Dear Mrs. Murry,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
10 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons section.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
6. August22: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the attendant if he knows where the antidepressants are.
7. September 5: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
8. September 17: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
9. October 9: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!
And; last, but not least!
10. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Re: Complaints
Dear Mrs. Murry,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
10 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons section.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
6. August22: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the attendant if he knows where the antidepressants are.
7. September 5: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
8. September 17: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
9. October 9: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!
And; last, but not least!
10. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
