Joke | PUNT ROAD END | Richmond Tigers Forum
  • IMPORTANT // Please look after your loved ones, yourself and be kind to others. If you are feeling that the world is too hard to handle there is always help - I implore you not to hesitate in contacting one of these wonderful organisations Lifeline and Beyond Blue ... and I'm sure reaching out to our PRE community we will find a way to help. T.

Joke

Dean3

Older than I've ever been
Dec 17, 2002
2,954
0
Melbourne
This has been doing the rounds, but just in case you haven't heard it:

Mick Malthouse, the coach of Collingwood Aussie Rules Club, gets wind of a potential new young recruit who lives in Iraq.

Malthouse and the Neil Balme catch a plane to war-torn Baghdad and track the young boy down.
They risk life and limb dodging bombs, bullets and grenades but finally find him and convince him to come to Australia.

The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the seniors for the first game of the year.
Ten minutes into the first quarter, one of the players goes down with a severe knee injury.

Malthouse turns to the boy and says, "This is it son, go to centre half forward and show us what you can do."

The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in AFL history. He kicks 9 goals, takes mark of the year, and kicks the winning goal after the siren from outside 50.

The Pies chair him off the ground and give him three cheers back in the rooms. Malthouse tells the team what the boy from Iraq has been through and that he is a model lesson for all.

Malthouse then pulls the boy aside and says, "Go into my office son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did today".

He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the phone, "Guess what I did today?"

"I don't care what you did today," his Mother replies. "I tell you what happened here today", she goes on. "Your Dad was stabbed and robbed, our house torched, our car blown up, your sister raped and your brother abducted."

"Gee," says the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what happened".

The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you we would never have shifted to Collingwood."
 
here's a joke doing the rounds in perth atm:


"VIRUS WARNING"

I must alert you to the sudden outbreak of a new disease ,Its called SIDSS
Suddenly Im a Dockers Supporter Syndrome

There have been cases reported all over Perth of people who previously
couldn't draw you a football, ranting about the Dockers win.

The most common symptom are people who have said nothing since 95 but are
now rambling on that they have always been a Dockers supporter and are
running around putting up streamers and any other piece of fabric they can
find that remotely resembles the gay flag.

If you are unfortunate enough to stumble across one of these wretched
creatures contact The Bombers Help line as I believe they have a vaccine on
its way to Perth this Friday and the plague should be all but gone by about
9.30 Friday night.
 
What was the first thing Buck Rodgers said when he went to the 25th Centery

Has Richmond won a Premiership yet!
 
Who wants to be a millionaire?

Eddie McEverywhere- OK Spud. You have three life lines and you want to use one of them at this stage - which would you like to use?"

Spud-"I'll phone a friend please Eddie"

Eddie McEverywhere-"Who do you want to phone Spud?"

Spud -- "I'll phone Nathan Burke please Eddie"

Brrrrrr. Brrrrrrrrr.................(This is supposed to be a phone ringing, it's winter ;D)

Burkey -- "Hello"

Eddie McEverywhere-- "Burkey??"

Burkey -- "Yes"

Eddie McEverywhere- "It's Eddie McEverywhere on Who wants to be a Millionaire."

Burkey-"Christ"

Eddie McEverywhere- "I've Spud here & he needs your help to get him to 500,000,
the next voice you hear will be Spud".....
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Spud -- "Burkey, it's Spud here will I go 50 / 50 or should I ask the audience?"..........
 
Good one Rosy. ;D

I can't see how it could of been for $500,000 though.
It was more likely the first question worth $100 :D