from www.puntroad.com/content
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The Richmond Football Club will be making available counselling sessions to fans following the abject failure of the players and coaching staff to put up anything resembling a good hard crack at it during season 2004. With the club cancelling a proposed Grand Final Week Festival due to financial issues, this newly available time will be scheduled in as a mass counselling session lasting most of grand final week. Up to 150, 000 distressed Tiger supporters are expected to take advantage of the free counselling sessions, while a special website will be set up to tele-counsel those in far away places.
The Reverend Tim Sun Moon will manage the outsourced deal via his company HandWringers-R-Us. He told puntroad.com "Yeah look there's no doubt it's been a shitty season and the supporters are going to be feeling everything ranging from shoulder-shrugging seen-it-all-before indifference through to soul-deep spirit crushing despair. I've heard people wandering how they even managed to win a game. But the season has ended and we'll be helping people to let go and look forward to season 2005.
When asked what he'd be instructing his crack team of psychometricians and counsellors to focus on, Rev Moon said, "Well, it's gotta be the kids hasn't it? Thomas "Blue Light" Roach, Daniel "Boon" Jackson, Brent "Old Head" Hartigan, Jay "Sargent" *smile* and Newman. And then there's the return of Mark "Cogs" Coughlan - that's a big start. But mostly we'll be getting people to imagine life at Punt road with out Frawley or Britts or any of the assistant coaches. In 90% of cases I've seen so far, just that simple thought is enough to get a little flicker of a smile and you can just see their eyes spark up.
"In extreme cases we'll be calling on Martin St James to perform Radical Hyster-hypnotherapy, the aim being to completely remove -or at least render fuzzy - any memories of season 2004. Martin is pretty good at getting people to remember things with a sepia tone and we're hoping that'll make the next little while easier for these poor souls, the poor Tiger souls.
Richmond supporters are advised to make their books with the club. 2005 Memberships will also be available.
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The Richmond Football Club will be making available counselling sessions to fans following the abject failure of the players and coaching staff to put up anything resembling a good hard crack at it during season 2004. With the club cancelling a proposed Grand Final Week Festival due to financial issues, this newly available time will be scheduled in as a mass counselling session lasting most of grand final week. Up to 150, 000 distressed Tiger supporters are expected to take advantage of the free counselling sessions, while a special website will be set up to tele-counsel those in far away places.
The Reverend Tim Sun Moon will manage the outsourced deal via his company HandWringers-R-Us. He told puntroad.com "Yeah look there's no doubt it's been a shitty season and the supporters are going to be feeling everything ranging from shoulder-shrugging seen-it-all-before indifference through to soul-deep spirit crushing despair. I've heard people wandering how they even managed to win a game. But the season has ended and we'll be helping people to let go and look forward to season 2005.
When asked what he'd be instructing his crack team of psychometricians and counsellors to focus on, Rev Moon said, "Well, it's gotta be the kids hasn't it? Thomas "Blue Light" Roach, Daniel "Boon" Jackson, Brent "Old Head" Hartigan, Jay "Sargent" *smile* and Newman. And then there's the return of Mark "Cogs" Coughlan - that's a big start. But mostly we'll be getting people to imagine life at Punt road with out Frawley or Britts or any of the assistant coaches. In 90% of cases I've seen so far, just that simple thought is enough to get a little flicker of a smile and you can just see their eyes spark up.
"In extreme cases we'll be calling on Martin St James to perform Radical Hyster-hypnotherapy, the aim being to completely remove -or at least render fuzzy - any memories of season 2004. Martin is pretty good at getting people to remember things with a sepia tone and we're hoping that'll make the next little while easier for these poor souls, the poor Tiger souls.
Richmond supporters are advised to make their books with the club. 2005 Memberships will also be available.
