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The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - THE AWARDS

Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - VOTE HERE

3 lids
2 cotch
1 Thomas
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - VOTE HERE

3. Cotch
2. Deledio
1. Big griff
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award
Voting Results for Round 1 vs Gold Coast


GOLD COAST 5.4 6.5 7.13 12.15 (87)
RICHMOND 3.1 5.6 6.7 10.9 (69)

GOALS
Gold Coast: Day 2, Stanley 2, Ablett 2, Lynch 2, Prestia, O’Meara, Matera, Swallow
Richmond: Vickery 2, Vlastuin, Petterd, Riewoldt, Cotchin, Griffiths, Edwards, Martin, Deledio

Rank Change Player 3 VOTES 2 VOTES 1 VOTE RD TOTAL TOTAL VOTES AVG
1 NEW Brett Deledio 29 20 4 131 131 53 131.0
2 NEW Trent Cotchin 26 21 3 123 123 50 123.0
3 NEW Matt Thomas 1 12 18 45 45 31 45.0
4 NEW Shaun Hampson 2 3 17 29 29 22 29.0
5 NEW Nick Vlastuin 0 1 8 10 10 9 10.0
6 NEW Ben Griffiths 0 0 4 4 4 4 4.0
7 NEW Shaun Grigg 0 0 2 2 2 2 2.0
8 NEW Dustin Martin 0 0 1 1 1 1 1.0
Total Voters=58

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MATCH REPORT
by tigergollywog

One Swallow doth, a Richmond summer, break?

It was a strange night. Hot and tropical. The Strelipsias under the clam shell stands at Metricon peaked in the humidity. Gauguin’s exotic birds.

An odd coincidence of events – Queenslanders aversion to putting an hour of sun in the bank: A spot of rain 1000km south – meant the game was an hour early and an hour late, all at the same time.

Panthera had inconspicuously left my PRE press pass under a can of Bundy in section 111, row J, seat 668. With it around my neck, I decided to use the time zones and the delays to best advantage. I went down to the rooms.

First, the tiger rooms. The atmosphere was unpleasant. Sweaty and tense. Tyrone Vickery seemed to be having some sort of seizure on the floor and Dimma was swearing and gesticulating loudly.

“Damien, a quick word for Punt Road End?” holding my pass square to my chest
“Sure” He was boiling, I was cautious.
“Anything wrong?”
“Look, Vickery broke team rules this afternoon and went for a surf at Burleigh. Hes been bitten (sic) by some kind of jellyfish and the doctors reckon he’s developed a palsy-type reaction of some kind. Hes *smile*n’ spastic and we didn’t bring any tall emergencies. He’ll play, but its thrown our whole game plan. I busted his *smile*n surfboard in half. AND this delay sh!ts me. It rains in Sydney, so we delay on the Gold Coast. I cant wait *smile*n wait till Demetrious *smile*n goes”. He seemed like he was only warming up. I backed away and politely cut him off
“thanks Damien”.

I went next door to the Suns rooms, only to be confronted with an even more bizarre situation. Charlie Dixon was strapped to a bench. Big trucky straps on his legs and chest, binding him. He had electrodes pasted all over his lower face and Guy McKenna was zapping him. Charlie was biting down hard on his mouth guard and his whole body stiffening. Gary Ablett seemed the only bloke in the rooms who was oblivious to the scene.

‘Bluey? Tigergollywog Punt Road End’ holding up my pass, trying not to look puzzled
‘Yes mate, how are you going?” Bluey seemed to have no inkling that I was about to break the biggest story since Jimmy Hirds tan and stiffy pills.
“Um, that’s not an iPod is it?”
“Nah mate, just a little bit of ECT” Bluey looking over my shoulder.
“ECT?”
“Electro-Convulsive therapy.” seeing my alarm, quickly, laughing “Its AFL approved; Its helps with Charlies beard.”
”His beard?”
“Yeah. He really struggles without it. The AFL gave us special dispensation”
“For the beard?’
“Nah, they gave us 22 first round picks. Wait till you see these bloke run”

Totally perplexed, I left the rooms, grabbed a bundy and went back to my seat.

No sooner had I finished my rum, when they bounced the ball.

The opening minute was full of promise. Rance hits the son of god with a beauty. Gaz is rattled and Nick Vlastuin kicks a ripper, fledgling trademark, 1-2 running goal.

Jack Martin, who I’d been busting to see, wove around a few packs like an electric boogooloo and fired out some pretty intuitive handballs and then dislocated his shoulder. We wont see much of him this year, but hes gonna be real good.

Talking of good. Jaeger O’Maera and Gaz put on a bit of a show. Bang, Bang, Bang.

TV is really showing signs of his jelly-fish sting. He seems timid and slow. He’s playing behind, dropping chest marks and sooking. I really hope this palsy-type condition wears off. We are in strife until Dusty caresses a pass onto Jacks tit and jack sticks it through on the siren to keep us in reach.

Quarter time. We are 34/19 down. The Chimp is on track for 60 disposals.

The second quarter starts right on time, despite a thunderstorm in Hobart. Richmond’s Greatest Love Machine continues on from where he left of in the elimination final last year. He runs back with the flight, dives into packs head first and generally seems to have grown, his already ample testicles.

I notice The Chimp is matched up on The Son of God. Evolution Versus Creation. I lick my lips, watch them closely, and I reckon The Chimp wins. Hes getting the help he should. His teammates take every opportunity to whack, land on, harass, block, grab and hinder Gaz. Newman is being very creative on a forward line that is suffering under the weight of TV’s jelly-fish sting. The suns also seem to have caught wind of his marine spasticity and seem to be targeting him physically. Triple teeming, punching, cannoning into him with no eyes for the ball.

Charlie Dixon, beard bristling with shock, tangles crudely with TV, gets a free kick and then promptly disappears for the match with a mystery concussion. I make a note to ask Bluey at the presser if Charlies concussion is ECT-related, although I suspect only TV’s right side is affected and he might have got him with a left jab.

Despite the Suns blistering pace on the break, which is making us look a bit slow and cumbersome, the Tigers don’t panic. They seem to stick steadfastly to a game plan I cant quite work out, and stay in the game.

At half-time, Tigers are 7 points down. Gaz has had the ball 21 times, but Thomas is doing a pretty good job running with him and getting plenty of the ball himself. Griff is presenting well and The Velvet hammer seems to be able to put the ball within millimeters of where the mids want it at every single ball up.

During the half time break, the stadium holds their collective breath as the scoreboard flashes news of strong southerly coastal breeze in Exmouth, but despite this, the third quarter starts right on schedule.

During the third quarter, David Swallow dissects us with contested marks, tackles, running bounces and goals. I’d forgetten this bloke in my pre-match calculations of the danger of the Suns? Is this the product of the concessions that Bluey was talking about? Is he having ECT? My mind swims at the possiblility of this young, fast and dynamic side, brimming with first round talent …….. and an AFL sanctioned ECT machine.

The Tigers seem to be wilting. Is it the heat? TV’s encounter with the jelly fish at Burleigh certainly isn’t helping. His palsy-type condition seems to be worsening. Hes out of position and acutely out of sorts. Despite this, he keeps presenting and he kicks a goal.

Tigers 12 points down at ¾

Fourth starts bang on time, even though there were reports of thick fog in the Clare Valley. And the Tigers forward-line fog, which has prevented any contested marking inside 50, seems to lift just a little. A goal from TV and a snap from Dusty and we hit the front.

But then the suns come back strong again. Their key forwards are able to do what ours cant. Take a grab in the 50. That, and the Suns pace and run are the difference. David Asbury bravely and desperately tries to stop the bleeding, but we are gone.

The low point comes with lids on his own, deep in a forward pocket calling for the ball from TV. As TV goes to pass, his jelly fish bite flares, his palsy kicks in and he sky’s the ball, giving the suns defender ample time to canon into Lids. Lids cracks the sh!ts and boots the ball into the crowd and gives away a free. The whole crowd heres him yell at TV “What the *smile* was that?” TV, whose right half of his mouth was drooping, hindering his speech, replied “utsthejoolyfoosh”.

Meanwhile, Dimma is proactive and creative in the box. Dusty goes forward, Dusty goes in the guts. It seems Dusty is our crisis go-to man. Maybe when the weather is fair across the land, he can run off a half back flank, but Dusty is our swing man tonight. Dimma sends TV into the ruck. Im not sure if its punishment for going surfing, or he thinks a knee in the nuts might have an adrenale effect on his jelly-fish reaction.

The Velvet Hammer stands tall in the crisis also. His tapwork is extraordinary and when the game is in the balance at the start of the last, he does some important things around the ground. A bit like Benny used to.

The siren sounds, and we go down by 19 points. The Suns were just too fast, and despite our ruck dominance, smashed us on the burst. TV’s accident affected us badly too. Our forward line, which it seems is built around TV this year, was entirely dysfunctional.

Question swirl inside my brain. Perhaps we are one or two lightening fast, dual-sided, mercurial black fellas away from being a genuine contender? We’ve placed a recruiting premium on foot skills and toughs, possibly at the expense of speed. Maybe skills and toughs stand up better in September? It is only March. Why didn’t TV wear a stinger suit?

I leave Metricon philosophical though . The suns are a very good side, brimming with talent and speed. I knew this before the game. What I didn’t know was that they have an AFL sanctioned ECT machine, but I am pretty sure it didn’t give them any unfair advantage. Having 22 first round draft picks in 3 years probably did though.

Combined Best: Swallow, Cotchin, Ablett, Prestia, O’Meara, Deledio, Riscatelli, Hampson

TGW.

EDITORIAL
by Panthera tigris FC

Welcome back all. Too bad the Gold Coast rained on our parade (not literally this time) and we have to put up with 12 days of analysis before we take on the Blues in a week.

Thanks for all of the offers to provide match reports. As always, tigergollywog has set the bar high with a report from his unique perspective.

In the voting, the ballots were dominated by our two best players, Lids and Cotch. Both were superb on the night, but lacked support in the middle and at least a semi-functional forward line. It is nice to see Thomas and Hampson featuring in the votes on their debuts in the Yellow and Black. They did their parts.

Let's hope we can get a win next week against the Blues. It'll be good to be back at the 'G for a night of footy!

Carn' the Tiges!
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Thanks Panthera and gollywog. Love the results. Love the reports. Love the fact I'm not getting bagged again for voting for Jacko every week...yet. :eek:
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Great report there, i almost feel better about the loss. Nice work TGW.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Set the standard for the year, golly. Great stuff.

rosy23 said:
Love the fact I'm not getting bagged again for voting for Jacko every week...yet. :eek:
You've probably covered this before rosy, but why don't you ever give Cotchin votes?
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

spook said:
You've probably covered this before rosy, but why don't you ever give Cotchin votes?

Several people haven't given Cotch votes this week. Are you interested in why they didn't vote for him too or am I special? :hihi

I don't think 24% efficiency in the first half (ended up at 50%) was as classy as Trent disposal can be. However yes I have posted before that I won't give Trent votes again and it's no reflection on him in any way. He can get by quite well without my votes on here. I made the decision after a certain 3 posters spammed several threads with sarcastic comments because I didn't vote for him one week. It's easier to leave him out than to be harassed by forum bullies. It doesn't reflect on how much I admire him and am glad he's a Tiger.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

rosy23 said:
Several people haven't given Cotch votes this week. Are you interested in why they didn't vote for him too or am I special? :hihi

I don't think 24% efficiency in the first half (ended up at 50%) was as classy as Trent disposal can be. However yes I have posted before that I won't give Trent votes again and it's no reflection on him in any way. He can get by quite well without my votes on here. I made the decision after a certain 3 posters spammed several threads with sarcastic comments because I didn't vote for him one week. It's easier to leave him out than to be harassed by forum bullies. It doesn't reflect on how much I admire him and am glad he's a Tiger.
I noticed it last year and recall you saying that you wouldn't give him votes, I just didn't know why. Cheers.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

absolutety sensational work thanks PT & TGW
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Nice TGW, very nice. People are gunna have to lace up the Sergey Bubka spikes to get anywhere near that bar.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Terrific report TGW.

I too was not super-disappointed and reasonably philosophical at the end of the night...
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Fantastic report TGW.

It's great to have a 'glass half full' type reporter. Love your scoop on TV!
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

bugger. i started the season about as well as the tigers. no votes.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

glad you enjoyed the match report. Im pleased the tigers wasted no time in conditioning the players to cope with jelly-fish attacks and the like in the surf.

http://www.richmondfc.com.au/video/2014-03-21/tigers-tear-up-surf
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Panthera tigris FC said:
I notice The Chimp is matched up on The Son of God. Evolution Versus Creation.

I can't get on Goldposts (tech Linux thing I don't understand) to quote this tgw, but it's gold, mate.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

Dyer'ere said:
I can't get on Goldposts (tech Linux thing I don't understand) to quote this tgw, but it's gold, mate.

:hihi

very pleased you clocked it Capn. I should really have cited (Antman and Djevv, 2014), cause their intellectual WWF on the christianity thread inspired the huge metaphor. So huge, in fact, it left me no room for subtlety.
 
Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 1 vs Gold Coast - RESULTS

It took another thread to mention the jellyfish to remind me to read this report, you've given me a great big belly laugh to kick off round 2. Cheers.