Oh no, ambient chillout music. It's time to turn to everyone's favourite right-wing polemicist, Slammin' Sam Kekovich:
"....Dial-in-a-terrorist should be extended.
Whenever you hear someone extolling the virtues of a risotto, that is, cheese-saturated rice stuffed with water, you should be able to call 1-800-WANKER.
Whenever you hear a laboured word pun, you can ring 1-800-LOSER.
Whenever you enter a shop and are confronted by ambient chill music, ring 1-800-*smile*.
Can anyone actually tell me what 'chill' music is? A generation is growing up on the tracks that James Last rejected.
It seems that anyone can loop a couple of bars of flute, add a doof doof beat, put a photo of a sunset and a martini on the cover, and have every mentally pubescent twenty-year-old rushing to the record store in the hope of becoming cool and gaining a personality by association.
Music died the day Cheap Trick broke up.
We are a patient, decent people to a fault, and now is the moment we decide to stop soft-cocking around thinking everyone in the world has a right to exist.
You know it makes sense. I'm Sam Kekovich."
from You Know It Makes Sense: Sam Kekovich Let Loose, a collection of material originally seen on The Fat (sadly missed)