Personal and Domestic violence

[MB78]

I'm pleased this is in the national spotlight as it needs to be addressed to make families lives better and to break down the cycle of abuse.

I think a culture of reporting and seeking the required support for the victims whether they are female, male or children is the only way forward.

I don't think the narrative that only man cause domestic violence is healthy as it takes the debate away from the real issue.

 

[MB78]

www.news.com.au/li-levels-of-domestic-violence-in-lgbti-relationships/news-story/f250ce6f4eb06f5d146e63ec611dd0c7

New research finds ‘shocking’ levels of domestic violence in LGBTI relationships

 

[KnightersRevenge]

I'm pleased this is in the national spotlight as it needs to be addressed to make families lives better and to break down the cycle of abuse.

I think a culture of reporting and seeking the required support for the victims whether they are female, male or children is the only way forward.

I don't think the narrative that only man cause domestic violence is healthy as it takes the debate away from the real issue.

No, but the numbers are staggering and MRAs (Mens Rights Activists) of the keyboard warrior type absolutely hide behind the fact that it isn't 100% a mens issue to muddy the waters. Sure all abuse is wrong. But the type and prevalence of male on female violence and intimidation is the biggest and most pressing issue IMO.

 

[LeeToRainesToRoach]

Some light reading for you L2R2R.

http://m.theage.com.au/national/family-violence-and-why-women-stay-20141218-12aggk.html

Yes, situations can become complex. But they all have a starting point. Perhaps the woman has a submissive or dependant personality to begin with, and it's a symbiotic relationship that works much of the time.

Please do not imply that I'm trying to defend or justify abusive behaviour. I ain't the bad guy!

 

[MB78]

No, but the numbers are staggering and MRAs (Mens Rights Activists) of the keyboard warrior type absolutely hide behind the fact that it isn't 100% a mens issue to muddy the waters. Sure all abuse is wrong. But the type and prevalence of male on female violence and intimidation is the biggest and most pressing issue IMO.

Why can't it all be addressed at the same time so we get no or less divide on the issue?

Did you read the link I posted? Do we sweep that under the carpet for now in order to focus on the majority?

 

[KnightersRevenge]

Why can't it all be addressed at the same time so we get no or less divide on the issue?

Did you read the link I posted? Do we sweep that under the carpet for now in order to focus on the majority?

I didn't disagree with what you posted. Just pointed out that there is a subculture that uses a similar line to the one you took to avoid dealing with the issue of male on female violence honestly. They like to try to derail discussions by talking about custody and access issues etc. Looking all the time to undermine the idea that this is predominantly a male on female issue. That doesn't discount the other issues. Simply puts them into an honest context. It is a bit like the idea of "false balance". The fact that some women may use emotional blackmail (or even violence) does not balance the amount of emotional and physical violence done to women by men. I'm not saying you said it did by the way. But you don't change the oil on a car with no wheels. You have to fix your big issues first.

 

[Rosy]

......

I think a culture of reporting and seeking the required support for the victims whether they are female, male or children is the only way forward.

I don't think the narrative that only man cause domestic violence is healthy as it takes the debate away from the real issue.

Ditto to the first sentence. Absolutely.

As for the second sentence what and where is the narrative you mention coming from? Do you mean things like the White Ribbon and Allanah and Madeline foundations take discussion away from the real issue?

 

[MB78]

As for the second sentence what and where is the narrative you mention coming from? Do you mean things like the White Ribbon and Allanah and Madeline foundations take discussion away from the real issue?

White Ribbon for example are a pro feminist group. And Black Ribbon - Awareness of Men Suffering Domestic Violence group has gained a lot of support.

Then there is pages like this one.

https://www.facebook.com/philipshunt/posts/461762254034124:0

"Australia has a gendered domestic violence issue and the problem is women."
I know this sounds absurd but if we took the same approach as current domestic violence organisations like the government funded Our Watch {1} or the questionable charity group White Ribbon {2}, this is how the narrative would sound based on the events in Australia since the 1st of December, 2015.
Over the past 70 days, there have been 12 people killed due to domestic violence, 10 males & 2 females {3}. Of these, 5 have had male perpetrators & 7 have been at the hands of female perpetrators. But this is the type of "logic" used by these organisations and ignores decades of research that points from various sources that refutes this irrational belief that domestic violence is a gendered issue {4} (I have included a couple of references here).
I'm going to break this down by first looking at the definition of each word and then showing how domestic violence has absolutely nothing to do with gender.
Domestic - Relating to the running of a home or to family relations (Oxford Dictionary)
Violence - Behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something (Oxford Dictionary)
Hence, when you define these words, gender is not mentioned and what you find is that violence is a behavioural action relating to the family home. Apart from our innate behaviours (designed for survival), other behavioural traits are something we learn from our parents (or guardians), our family, our friends, & any other humans (or animal) that we mimic through the profound influence they have on us. What we find is that our behaviour is a choice, a choice we make either consciously or subconsciously, and depending on the type of environment you are accustomed to, this will have an influence as to what behaviour you decide to display. For example, if someone lives in a family environment where violence is regular, most likely they will see this type of behaviour as "normal" and this type of conditioning may lead them to believe that violence is an acceptable act.
Simply presupposing domestic violence is a behaviour predominately exhibited by males is not only naive but also a reckless method to reducing the amount of lives that are affected by this non-discriminatory beast and will only lead to the generational cycle of abuse continuing on for generations to come.
{1} http://www.ourwatch.org.au/Understandi…/FAQs-about-the-issue
{2} http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/white-ribbon-importance
{3} http://www.news.com.au/…/n…/1be1feff06f576795d15044152cf78cc
http://www.abc.net.au/…/police-investigate-suspicio…/7024458
http://www.abc.net.au/…/mother-daughter-deaths-girl…/7011298
https://au.news.yahoo.com/…/…/police-investigate-leda-death/
http://www.vicpolicenews.com.au/index.php…
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/…/eb385f1b3875a9cb768659ca92c…
http://www.perthnow.com.au/…/7918689c4ad3db8fd27d12f81e1829…
http://www.nswcentralcoastnews.com.au/…/mother-charged-with…
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/…/379661d5c87838786f6fafdbeee…
http://www.abc.net.au/…/riverwood-stabbing-victims-…/7074916
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/…/379661d5c87838786f6fafdbeee…
{4} http://whiteribbon.org/…/refuting-40-years-of-lies-about-d…/
http://domesticviolenceresearch.org/


This page has a lot of support.



Both are creating awareness from different angles. What I'm about Rosy which you agree with a culture of reporting and seeking the required support for the victims whether they are female, male or children is the only way forward. This is our best way to support the victims and get united response. As all pages state the domestic violence is 100% wrong. Yet there is divide. And its due to the gender narrative. As a result of this I think its disappointing.

 

[Rosy]

Do those links you posted work for you MB? I get page not available, an article on Rolf Harris, newspaper main pages, irrelevant articles etc.

I am interested in reading #3 about the last 70 days. Are those stats a typical reflection? Are they cherry picked? Were their certain circumstances that went against the grain? The article that link brings up for me doesn't mention numbers. It's a about a woman being murdered. It doesn't even mention if they were known to each other.

I don't believe anyone has the right to violate another regardless of gender or age. Having support shelters and awareness campaigns for women and children doesn't mean by default that men should just cop it. There are support groups and shelters for men too. I don't see why helping particular groups seems to equates to some kind of gender narrative.

I don't quite understand your response to my question about White Ribbon and the Alannah and Madeline foundation. Good if is Black Ribbon is gaining support if it helps victims. I don't see how anyone is really prejudiced against by having those support groups. I doubt any of them have a platform of abuse is ok against some but not others...or do they?

Who is philipshunt? I haven't heard of him. I looked up the name and found a website for a divorce therapist. Same person?

 

[MB78]

Do those links you posted work for you MB? I get page not available, an article on Rolf Harris, newspaper main pages, irrelevant articles etc.

I am interested in reading #3 about the last 70 days. Are those stats a typical reflection? Are they cherry picked? Were their certain circumstances that went against the grain? The article that link brings up for me doesn't mention numbers. It's a about a woman being murdered. It doesn't even mention if they were known to each other.

I don't believe anyone has the right to violate another regardless of gender or age. Having support shelters and awareness campaigns for women and children doesn't mean by default that men should just cop it. There are support groups and shelters for men too. I don't see why helping particular groups seems to equates to some kind of gender narrative.

I don't quite understand your response to my question about White Ribbon and the Alannah and Madeline foundation. Good if is Black Ribbon is gaining support if it helps victims. I don't see how anyone is really prejudiced against by having those support groups. I doubt any of them have a platform of abuse is ok against some but not others...or do they?

Who is philipshunt? I haven't heard of him. I looked up the name and found a website for a divorce therapist. Same person?

Rosy I also can't get the links to work. The do in the link on facebook.

Philip S Hunt is a DV victim who started the page after he failed to get any support from the Gov, Police etc as he was male.

And I think the stats are cherry picked as they are over the last 70 days not a full year. It does provide food for thought though as you would think that it would be the other way around in any point in time.



Also White Ribbon claim:

That intimate partner violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and ill-health in Australian women aged 15-44.

http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/white-ribbon-importance

I was horrified to read this as a loving husband father, to three great kids (two daughters), and I signed up and supported White Ribbon.

I have also donated to Alannah and Madeline Foundation when collecting they do great work.


https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/12507111_453814564828893_38131903782857418_n.jpg?oh=6696cb464b5d8744adff65721af9465e&oe=57658315

https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/12642896_459221224288227_6984686785952218544_n.jpg?oh=34a88271b2907308d1a66d4e169f99bd&oe=5762DC35

Not sure what to think on the above on who is right with their claims. It made me think.



But the below made me think the most. There must be a better way.


https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/12553009_452916548252028_5726238655080951143_n.jpg?oh=c16928300e17e227d2f60e10d525f57c&oe=5731EDBD