Danny Frawley | PUNT ROAD END | Richmond Tigers Forum
  • IMPORTANT // Please look after your loved ones, yourself and be kind to others. If you are feeling that the world is too hard to handle there is always help - I implore you not to hesitate in contacting one of these wonderful organisations Lifeline and Beyond Blue ... and I'm sure reaching out to our PRE community we will find a way to help. T.

Danny Frawley

waiting

Tiger Legend
Apr 15, 2007
14,058
9,171
Victoria
Went off his medication was the reason leading to the crash.

True TF.

Anita mentioned that he stopped his medication and that he stop going to his appointments as well !

Was feeling better and therein lies the problem at times with this disease. You think you are on top of it and an incident, a word, an argument with a loved on or even YOU and it can hit you again.

Its a cycle that can often strike and return. Like a revolving door.

Depression comes in many forms. Doesnt discriminate. Doesnt pick and choose depending on race, nationality or how much money is in your pocket.

I must admit that for a number of days after the news broke i posted my anger at the Herald Sun article as to their reasoning posting such an article and i probably went too far.

It took me maybe 4-5 days to post again and that was during the game ( Lions vs Tigers final ).

I took it hard. I felt for his family. I felt for his friends.

I read the comments many posted on here, most were of a sensitive beautiful nature and a few were quite harsh.

Sometimes us men can be our own worse enemies. Not only to others but mainly to ourselves. To show vulnerability isnt a failure of us as men but a sense that we too have feelings, can hurt ,feel pain and can struggle with what life dishes out.

Not all men were created equal is the old saying which is so true.

With Wednesday being his funeral it will be an emotional day for all his family, friends but also for people who really enjoyed listening to him on radio and his infectious laugh.

I dont really know why im writing this but i just wanted too.

lifeline 13 11 14

beyond blue 1300 22 4636
 
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TigerForce

Tiger Legend
Apr 26, 2004
70,725
21,651
57
True TF.

Anita mentioned that he stopped his medication and that he stop going to his appointments as well !

Was feeling better and therein lies the problem at times with this disease. You think you are on top of it and an incident, a word, an argument with a loved on or even YOU and it can hit you again.

Its a cycle that can often strike and return. Like a revolving door.

Depression comes in many forms. Doesnt discriminate. Doesnt pick and choose depending on race, nationality or how much money is in your pocket.

I must admit that for a number of days after the news broke i posted my anger at the Herald Sun article as to their reasoning posting such an article and i probably went too far.

It took me maybe 4-5 days to post again and that was during the game ( Lions vs Tigers final ).

I took it hard. I felt for his family. I felt for his friends.

I read the comments many posted on here, most were of a sensitive beautiful nature and a few were quite harsh.

Sometimes us men can be our own worse enemies. Not only to others but mainly to ourselves. To show vulnerability isnt a failure of us as men but a sense that we too have feelings, can hurt ,feel pain and can struggle with what life dishes out.

Not all men were created equal is the old saying which is so true.

With Wednesday being his funeral it will be an emotional day for all his family, friends but also for people who really enjoyed listening to him on radio and his infectious laugh.

I dont really know why im writing this but i just wanted too.

lifeline 13 11 14

beyond blue 1300 22 4636
Good post W. I just never knew Danny suffered this badly.
 

22nd Man

Tiger Legend
Aug 29, 2011
9,185
3,597
Essex Heights
There is much truth in what you say, Twenty-Second. Professional help is vital if one is finding it hard to rise above the blackness/darkness.
That said, it is good to have some mates with whom you can be open with about life's woes.
Men do need to learn to become better communicators and to understand and accept that it's really okay to reveal and admit to vulnerabilities.
The Frawley family statement wraps it all up for me, both Spuds particular circumstances and the process for any of us to follow if similarly Impacted. (And yes 123 it may not be immediately effective, permanent or complete )
 

eZyT

Tiger Legend
Jun 28, 2019
21,434
25,775
Anita Frawleys statement was really powerful and positive.

a proper destigmatising statement.

She highlighted the real, fatal consequences of poorly treated depression

and eluded to there fact that medication regimes are often

like shooting flies with a shotgun.

Spud was feeling a million bucks, bullet proof Anita said.

dare I venture probably for two reasons. 1. The meds are designed to get some serotonin and dopamine squirting, but its a very imprecise science. These things work pretty good and a patient easily gets too much juice, and feels really good. and who needs pills and doctors when you feel really good?; Feeling too good has consequences too. You can make some risky decisions, say some risky things, burn bridges; and 2. The relief that comes from scrambling your way out of a seemingly bottomless, slimy, dark pit produces its own natural euphoria. You're looking at The Devil disappearing in the rear vision mirror. Your soul has flown back into your body, and the sun and the moon and the stars are throwing beautiful shadows all of a sudden. So who wants to pay a shrink $300 to talk about the footy really fast and risk having the doc put the bit back over the tongue?

So, yeah.

Thanks Anita for being so damn honest, and sharing that really important pragmatic message when its the last thing you felt like doing.

please note, I am not suggesting people do not use pharmaceuticals to treat depression.

I am suggesting 1. do so under the supervision of a shrink you trust (GP's can be pretty *smile* at managing depression. If its bad, have a loved one ask around for a good shrink and get a referral off your doc and go see them; most shrinks are batshit crazy but they can be very good hand with a hand on the tiller of the brain. I find a good simple measure of a shrink is how they respond when you or a loved one asks them 'can you bulk bill, we are a bit skint at the moment?' ) and 2. Trust your loved ones and the feedback they give you about your mood and behaviour. 3. understand that you are probably a whole heap of meat stretched over bone, controlled by hormones and chemicals (sure, your love of Richmond is a real and intangible thing that defies biology and meditation works), and your own insight, feedback and care from your loved ones and some professional supervision will get the machine working good again.

Finally, depressed people are my heroes. whether they get out of bed or not, whether they slay the dragon or not, whether they come to the realisation that we are all in this together, or not.
 
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Scoop

Tiger Legend
Dec 8, 2004
24,931
13,972
Finally, depressed people are my heroes. whether they get out of bed or not, whether they slay the dragon or not, whether they come to the realisation that we are all in this together, or not.

Outstanding prose. Slay the Dragon is the perfect analogy. You never know when the dragon/depression will swoop down from the clouds and start breathing fire. When it does, your never sure how long it will last and where it goes one it's down it's damage. But the spectre of it on the horizon is sometimes more unbearable than the fire.

The one thing I do know about dragons/depression no one ever defeats them on their own. Don't let anyone fight a dragon on their own.
 
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eZyT

Tiger Legend
Jun 28, 2019
21,434
25,775
The one thing I do know about dragons/depression no one ever defeats them on their own. Don't let anyone fight a dragon on their own.

my oldest brother fought a real doozy on his own for 30 years and he didnt lose.

he's my hero and he's not on his own anymore.
 
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spook

Kick the f*ckin' goal
Jun 18, 2007
21,912
26,417
Melbourne
Danny was a victim of his own machismo, his ingrained belief ( no matter what he said) that he - Danny Frawley - was weak for needing the help he was getting. Anita said it was his competitive desire to declare he'd won the battle - no doubt - but I'm sure when it all came flooding back he berated himself, "Spud, you weak *smile*. You weak, weak *smile*."
He was wrong then, just as he was right to encourage others to put their hand up.

I endorse everything ezy posted.
 
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eZyT

Tiger Legend
Jun 28, 2019
21,434
25,775
You are a good man EzyT.

How did your boy go with his footy this year?

He's tracking well thanks waiting. He's growing well and he is working on his speed and pertinently, his game above the shoulders.

2020 is a big year for him.
 
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waiting

Tiger Legend
Apr 15, 2007
14,058
9,171
Victoria
He's tracking well thanks waiting. He's growing well and he is working on his speed and pertinently, his game above the shoulders.

2020 is a big year for him.

Good stuff EzyT!
All the best for him next year ok.

It’s all above the shoulders(mostly). Confidence is a big thing. Keep encouraging him.
 
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Tigermad2005

Tiger Legend
Aug 18, 2004
8,514
406
Ballarat
Anita Frawleys statement was really powerful and positive.

a proper destigmatising statement.

She highlighted the real, fatal consequences of poorly treated depression

and eluded to there fact that medication regimes are often

like shooting flies with a shotgun.

Spud was feeling a million bucks, bullet proof Anita said.

dare I venture probably for two reasons. 1. The meds are designed to get some serotonin and dopamine squirting, but its a very imprecise science. These things work pretty good and a patient easily gets too much juice, and feels really good. and who needs pills and doctors when you feel really good?; Feeling too good has consequences too. You can make some risky decisions, say some risky things, burn bridges; and 2. The relief that comes from scrambling your way out of a seemingly bottomless, slimy, dark pit produces its own natural euphoria. You're looking at The Devil disappearing in the rear vision mirror. Your soul has flown back into your body, and the sun and the moon and the stars are throwing beautiful shadows all of a sudden. So who wants to pay a shrink $300 to talk about the footy really fast and risk having the doc put the bit back over the tongue?

So, yeah.

Thanks Anita for being so damn honest, and sharing that really important pragmatic message when its the last thing you felt like doing.

please note, I am not suggesting people do not use pharmaceuticals to treat depression.

I am suggesting 1. do so under the supervision of a shrink you trust (GP's can be pretty **** at managing depression. If its bad, have a loved one ask around for a good shrink and get a referral off your doc and go see them; most shrinks are batshit crazy but they can be very good hand with a hand on the tiller of the brain. I find a good simple measure of a shrink is how they respond when you or a loved one asks them 'can you bulk bill, we are a bit skint at the moment?' ) and 2. Trust your loved ones and the feedback they give you about your mood and behaviour. 3. understand that you are probably a whole heap of meat stretched over bone, controlled by hormones and chemicals (sure, your love of Richmond is a real and intangible thing that defies biology and meditation works), and your own insight, feedback and care from your loved ones and some professional supervision will get the machine working good again.

Finally, depressed people are my heroes. whether they get out of bed or not, whether they slay the dragon or not, whether they come to the realisation that we are all in this together, or not.
Did it say anything about they been separated?
 

tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
24,150
19,618
Just finished watching Spud's funeral service on Fox, it was fantastic, very sad and very funny.
There was great tributes from Wayne Campbell, Brendon Gale and Noel Duncan.
Wayne Schwass also spoke very movingly, and with a message that it's ok to have vulnerabilities.