A Collingwood supporters view of their recruiting
Poor old Mick...not like it's his fault......and I wholeheartedly agree with him that wholesale changes should be made.
Let's see..... I think we should bring in:
Mal Michael... oooops forgot he was traded for Jarrad Molloy. maybe Molloy could come in.. oh no that's right, he's about 15 kgs overweight and retired, as opposed to 10 kgs overweight and still playing
Why don't we bring in Andrew Schauble, could help in defence? Damn, traded him too. who for again? Mark Kinnear. that's right, MARK Kinnear. I guess the goal there was to prove that Ben wasn't the worst Kinnear that ever played. Job done.
Josh Hunt would be handy with his accurate long kicking from defence. What's that? We traded that draft pick for Carl Steinfort. Isn't he a manager at Wizard Home Loans now? Guess he could give Noel Judkins some advice on how to invest his redundancy payout.
Damian Adkins would be more than handy with his pace and long kicking. I mean he does get a game with a team 7-0. Silly me, Andrew Williams was his replacement. a sh-tter footballer you're never likely to see, although Shane O'Bree may take that challenge as some sort of personal affront. If his last name was Kinnear I'd get the joke. At the moment I'm not laughing.
Richard Hadley? sh-t - traded his draft pick for the pick for Ryan Lonie. Who? Plays at Williamstown. Oh, him. Yeah, real hard man, voted 4th hardest player in league. No, the Lions weren't take the mickey were they?
Daniel Bell? Yeah, he's promising. 6'3", quick, athletic. Pity he was the pick given away for Woewodin. Woewoful makes Lonie look tough.
Nick dal Santo. Maybe next year. But what about in the 2001 draft? No. Pick 11 would be much better spent on Richard "accountable" Cole, the only man who appears to take the instruction "play him close" as a license to adopt some sort of Detroit Pistons style zone defence versus Shaq. I swear to Christ I watch him sometimes and he's looking up at the sky while the ball is up for grabs daydreaming. Maybe he likes planes? A looser player you're unlikely to find. OK, I agree, we'll take Cole at 11 and let the Saints get dal Santo at 13. Noel thinks its for the best.
Sav Rocca would be a presence in the square with Anthony out. All we'd have to do is get him to lead to the boundary, tell him to lead wide and let his man run off and no one would know the difference. What? we DELISTED him. Not even a Mark Kinnear in return? Are you sure? that can't be right. Who did we get as a replacement at the draft. SCOTT CUMMINGS? Must be a misprint. must be.
Matthew Pavlich would be awesome although he might battle when having to receive the footy from Rhyce Shaw. Forgot, traded pick 3 (Pavlich went 4) to the Tigers for Steve McKee and pick 7 (Danny Roach). I think I know McKee. Isn't he the guy that now holds up the big whiteboard at the 1/4 time huddle (no sh-t, check it out next time the Pies are on TV). And as for Danny Roach didn't he retire at age 20? Must have played some good footy before that though? 1 game! Really? How many touches? 1! What did he do with it? OUT ON THE FULL!!! Surely you jest.
Oh well, why don't we go for what we do have. We could bring in David King, Matthew Lokan, or anyone with the surname Shaw and Cloke. Seriously, is there an age limit on the father-son rule coz it's not too late to turn Jock McHale Jnr into a pretty reasonable CHF. Sure, he's 60+ but he couldn't possibly look slow in the Pies lineup.
NOPE. Pies are done. Micky must DIE. all this happened on his watch.
If you need me I'll be at the pub downing pots, and telling anyone who'll listen that Leigh Walker could've been anything if he'd just had Ben Kinnear's knees.