NewExaminer
"SEX PESTS ARE WELCOME AT THE NATIONALS" - REPORT
Embattled Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been given a reprieve of sorts, with the Liberals’ coalition partner saying it would welcome any disendorsed Liberals into the National’s fold.
Party head and Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack told the media today that politicians shouldn’t be measured by the social yardstick of inner-city lefties.
“Some of the core values of rural Australia, like hard work, misogyny, homophobia and alcoholism might be abhorrent to latte-sippers in Balmain,” McCormack said.
“But in the bush where men are men, and women tend to be either targets for inappropriate sexual behaviour or recipients of child support, different rules apply”.
“Take Barnaby Joyce,” McCormack said.
“In the space of twelve months, he was sprung shagging two women at the same time, outed as a New Zealander, clocked up a $45,000 bar tab at the Armidale Hotel, and was thrown out of the top pub for pissing in a pot plant”.
“But he still polled more than 50% in the last election”.
“So a bumbling, mediocre upskirter like Andrew Laming would be a good fit in our party”.
"He could even have a future in cabinet, possibly Minister for Women. After all, he's taken photographs of enough of them".
But a Liberal spokesman has cast doubt on the claims.
“Barnaby’s not much of a man”, the spokesman said.
“It took him five goes before he could even father a son, and even he’s not sure of the parentage of that one”.