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Jokes Thread

tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
14,010
5,309
Two guys grow up together, but after university they move to different states. They agree to meet every ten years to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
Where you wanna go?
Hooters.
Why Hooters?
They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs.
You're on.
At age 42, they meet and play golf again
Where you wanna go for lunch?
Hooters.
Again? Why?
They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games.
OK.
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking.
OK.
At age 62 they meet again.
After a round of golf, one says, Where you wanna go?
Hooters.
Why?
Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy.
Good choice
At age 72 they meet again.
Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.
Great choice.
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
Hooters.
Why?
Because we've never been there before.
Okay, let’s give it a try.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
14,010
5,309
I was talking to a bloke in the pub on Saturday, he said he was married and showed me a photo of her, saying isn't she beautiful.
I said to him if you think she's beautiful you should see my missus. He said she a stunner is she....... I said no, she an optician.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
14,010
5,309

A hungry and penniless bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow. He sits at the counter and notices
wee Jock with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there
staring at it, the hungry bloke bravely asks, If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do? Wee Jock
slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says, aye, ye can gae right aheid. The young bloke reaches over and starts spooning it down with sheer delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes the chilli back into the bowl.
Wee Jock said to him, aye that's as far as I got too.
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
14,010
5,309
A gas station owner in Alabama was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.

A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said,"Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex.

Bubba replied, no it ain't, Billy Ray, It ain't rigged, our sister Billy-Joe won twice last week.
 
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TT33

GO TIGES!!!
Feb 17, 2004
4,468
1,164
Melbourne
One from my 15yr old Grandson
How can you tell that the Toothbrush was invented by a Collingwood supporter. Because if it was invented by anyone else it would be called a TEETHBRUSH. :clap2 :clap2 :mhihi
 
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tigerman

It's Tiger Time
Mar 17, 2003
14,010
5,309
A copper pulled me over for speeding today. He said I've been waiting all day for you. I said to him, I got here as fast as I could.
After he stopped laughing, he let me off with a warning.
 
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