A man and woman are having dinner in a restaurant.
A waitress who is serving at the next table, notices the man slowly sliding down the chair, until he disappears under the table, whilst the woman appears completely unconcerned, and appears not to have noticed!
The waitress, concerned, went over and discreetly whispered to the woman, "Pardon me ma'am, but I think your husband has just slid under the table!"
She replied, "No actually, he's just walked in the front door of the restaurant
So this man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay cheque. When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
A man owned a small farm in Australia, The Fair Work Australia Office claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the rep.
“Well,” replied the farmer, “There's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $500 a week plus free room and board. He also gets triple time for working on a Sunday and a slab of beer for a Happy Hour every Friday.”
“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $400 per week plus free room and board. She doesn't work on Sundays and I provide paid satellite television for free in her room.”
“Then there's the half-wit.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $20 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”
“That's the guy I want to talk to... the half-wit,” says the agent.
“That would be me,” replied the farmer.
A waitress who is serving at the next table, notices the man slowly sliding down the chair, until he disappears under the table, whilst the woman appears completely unconcerned, and appears not to have noticed!
The waitress, concerned, went over and discreetly whispered to the woman, "Pardon me ma'am, but I think your husband has just slid under the table!"
She replied, "No actually, he's just walked in the front door of the restaurant
So this man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay cheque. When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
A man owned a small farm in Australia, The Fair Work Australia Office claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the rep.
“Well,” replied the farmer, “There's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $500 a week plus free room and board. He also gets triple time for working on a Sunday and a slab of beer for a Happy Hour every Friday.”
“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $400 per week plus free room and board. She doesn't work on Sundays and I provide paid satellite television for free in her room.”
“Then there's the half-wit.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $20 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”
“That's the guy I want to talk to... the half-wit,” says the agent.
“That would be me,” replied the farmer.